Sin Island

So yesterday I took a couple of kids that I nanny for to the water park for the entire day, and as I looked around at the screaming masses of children peeing in the water and generally being annoying, I came up with my most brilliant idea EVER: “Sin Island” (c), a very adult water park for grownups only.

On Sin Island (c), admission would be given only to those 18 years old and up, the dress code would be topless to preferably nude, and after 10pm, we’d kick out all the kids under 21 and open up the bars. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “but Teresa, a bunch of naked drunk people on waterslides doesn’t sound safe.” Well, you’re right, which is why every guest at Sin Island (c) would have a passcard that would only allow them to purchase one drink an hour, and the price of admission would cover only 4 drinks, one every hour from 10pm to 2am when the park closed. We’d have a spectacular light show, a DJ spinning awesome club music, fireworks, good food, and the best part: raging waterslides tossing naked, slightly buzzed people around all night long.

I think it would be a big hit. Now all I need is some venture capital.

John Kerry’s Speech and an Ode to My New Running Shoes

Tonight sure was something! Kerry, who isn’t really a very charismatic, pithy, or particularly eloquent speaker spoke quite well. He wasn’t Bill Clinton, he wasn’t even John Edwards, but he outlined his vision with heart and the courage to be himself instead of trying to be some other more stirring speaker.

Pundits have said going into this evening’s speech that the true test of success for Kerry would be whether or not he was able to define himself to the American people. Tonight, I think he did that remarkably. He addressed Bush’s allegations of waffling with a clever statement about his ability to see distinctions and articulated that issues are never simple enough to be bolied down into a soundbite.

Still, he delivered enough pithy one-liners to keep the news services happy as pigs in shit. My two favorites were, “we need a president who believes in science,” and “America can do better than giving Enron a big tax break our of the pockets of hardworking people.”

All in all, I think he performed well. Whether or not the performance will give him a bump in the polls remains to be seen, but he sure as hell reminded me tonight why I’m supporting him.

RIP Professor Jackson

I opened my e-mail late this evening to find an e-mail from Dean Quinley:

To Pomona College Students:

With deep regret I write to inform you of the death yesterday of Howard Jackson, Adjunct Associate Professor of Classics and Religious Studies at Pomona College.  According to police, Howard was found yesterday afternoon at his home in Claremont, dead of an apparently self-inflicted gunshot wound, together with the body of a woman companion.  A police investigation is under way.

Howard was a fine teacher and a gifted scholar of Greek religion in the Hellenistic period.  The entire Pomona community joins me in mourning his passing.

If you have concerns or would like to speak with someone, please contact the Office of Student Affairs or the Office of Campus Life.

Dean Quinley

I only ever had Professor Jackson for one class. I took Greek Religion from him second semester of Freshman year. It was a tumultuous semester for me, and he seemed like a deeply troubled person. He collected playing cards that he found on the ground and half-jokingly compared his habit to the Greek tradition of turning to Oracles for clues about the future. He said frequently that all this looking to oracles and worshipping Gods was how the Greeks manifested the human tendency to look to the supernatural for signs when desperate for an explanation for the meaningless pain of life. He told us that there was nobody who believed in God so much as the man trapped in a desperate situation. Somehow I felt like maybe he was speaking from personal experience; and at that extremely homesick and lovelorn low point in my life, as I looked to the next song on my randomized iTunes playlist for a “sign” about my future, I sort of identified with him.

I remember that he really liked my song Postmortem Peaches. He told me that I had talent and that he hoped to hear more of my music. I always meant to get a copy of my second CD to him, but now I guess I won’t get that opportunity.

The last conversation I had with him was at the very beginning of this past Spring 2004 Semester. He was walking up the stairs of Pearsons, his characteristic headphones wrapped around his shoulders. I asked him how his break had been and he smiled his nervous, endearing smile and said it had gone “as expected.” He asked me how mine had been before I had a chance to fully process his response, and I regaled him with the tale of my jaw surgery and all the lovely narcotics I’d been prescribed for the pain. I joked that I’d enjoyed being on Percocet so much that my mother had been forced to take it away from me after I started referring to it as “The Precious.” He lauged as heartily as I think I’d ever seen him laugh, and then we parted ways as we were both late for other engagements.

I’m writing this not because I’m irreversably scarred by his passing. I didn’t know him well enough to be sobbing into my pillow. Still, I think he would want to be remembered by people whose lives he influenced, and I feel as though I should preserve what little I know of his life. He was a good professor, a kind and funny if extremely odd man. He will surely be missed.

Johnny Be Good!

What a speech by John Edwards tonight! The populist message, the references to poverty and his adaptation of the two Americas speech, and his references to John Kerry as a strong yet wise and decisive warrior all set the stage for John Kerry to define himself for the American people.

And did you get a load of Teresa (pronounces it the same as I do) Heinz Kerry last night? What a badass!!! She’s like Hillary Clinton’s balls meets Jackie Kennedy’s ellegance with an accent that combines the sexinessof Salma Hayek with the sophistication of Catherine Zeta-Jones. And that glorious red hair! I think I might be in love.

You can listen to all of these speeches at NPR’s, complete DNC Coverage.

So Fucking Exhausted, and Banning the iPod

Well, 15 hours of babysitting didn’t take it out of me as much as I thought it would. What took it out of me is waking up at 7am to do it all over again. I don’t know how my mother survives working this many hours in a day.

Anyway, I heard this story on NPR this morning and it kinda pissed me off. The gyst of the whole things is that Senators Leahy (D-VT) and Hatch (R-UT) are sponsoring this thing called the INDUCE Act, that would ban or discourage the manufacture of devices like the iPod which they say induce people to infringe on copyrights.

The problem with this proposed INDUCE Act isn’t just that it threatens to stifle innovation in the technology sector, but that it threatens innovation in the music business as well. The only time I ever infringe copyrights on digital music is when an artist fails to include his or her music in the libraries of the three major online .mp3 sellers. Otherwise, I pay for my music like any conscientious listener. It is my hope that, as others take up this practice as well, it will convince record labels and the artists they work with to add their music to the growing list of music that appears on this latest frontier of retail.

There is a fortune to be made for these music companies, if only they adapt to the internet music trend and have a little vision. Supporting a law like this is moving them backward, not forward, and outlawing or discouraging devices like the iPod is not going to help matters.

If anything, my friendly little iPod mini actually encourages me to download from the Apple store because it just feels so natural. Apple has simply marketed their fully integrated products so well that I have become a willing victim of their brilliant advertising.

The Senators involved in sponsoring this legislation should think twice before stifling that kind of business innovation. It’s good for our economy.

Summer Lawsuit, Part II and the Babysitting Marathon

So I went to court today and it went pretty much as expected.

The lady I’m suing went up there and made all these little points about how she could let me go at any time for cause, but the judge disagreed with her when it came to establishing my qualifications, saying he was sure that I was qualified for the job and that my qualifications weren’t the issue. He agreed with me, saying that the bone of contention was whether a reasonable person could have assumed from the interactions between the defendant and myself that a certain number of hours were guaranteed and then retracted.

He took the whole matter under advisement and he said he’d mail out a verdict. Now I get to play the waiting game. Andy, “as a betting man,” gives me a 70-30 chance of winning my case, and my father the lawyer gives me an 80-20 chance. I hope they’re right.

The whole thing made me think even more about becoming a lawyer. I communicated effectively with the judge, although nerves prevented me from performing quite as well as I would have. These litigating things take practice, but I guess I did well for my first time because the judge didn’t yell at me like on Judge Judy. ::hee hee::

It’s a hot day and I’m exhausted, so I think I’ll go lie by the pool and prepare for tomorrow, which is the day of marathon babysitting. I get to sit for one set of kids from 7:45am - 4:30pm and then for another kid from 5-11pm. That’s 15 hours of babysitting in one day! I’m going to be one exhausted cookie, but I gotta tote that bale and haul that load.

Off to the pool!

Summer Lawsuit, Happened So Fast, Part I

So…I’m suing someone. With lawyers all over my family, I knew that this day would come eventually.

Basically what happened is that this lady, who we shall call Ms. X, hired me to teach at her SAT Prep School, offering me $2400 for 10 weeks of work. She let me quit my job and change my entire summer around to meet her schedule requirements, then cut the amount in half because she didn’t have enough students enrolled, something she neglected to tell me. I’m suing her for breach of contract.

Tomorrow is our court date and I’m preparing industriously.

I’ll let everyone know what happens tomorrow!

On Womanhood in 1954

The storyteller and the trickster
Skip playing through the parlor;
Snow angel noses red with freckled smiles
Spend hours in the frost.
At the thaw, they spread to roses.
Secrets dance on smiling lips,
Inviting death to claim them.
They wither soon to housewives.
Fruits of springtime’s sweet intent
Turn bitter as they grow.
And the eyes of springtime rest
Forever on the doorstep
Of their daughters.

An Open Letter to My Very Favorite Sex Advice Columnist, Dan Savage

Dear Dan,
You seemed just a little miffed in this week’s column . Well, you have ample right to be pissed at the Bushies and all the anti-gay bigots out there, but you seem to be equally pissed at your heterosexual readers. Well, I’m sorry if breeders write in to you with their boring breeder problems, but please take a deep breath and try to understand.

Yes, being gay in America sucks. But your heterosexual readers are not your enemies. Most of them love you not just because you give great advice, but because you give those people just one more fucking REASON to fight for gay rights. You put an adorable, intelligent, witty, sexy, badass face on a community that some people in this country would otherwise have no access to, and no reason to understand and support.

I know you’ve changed people’s minds about homosexuality. I know people who have come to a deeper understanding of human sexuality and what it means to be gay because of your column and your books. After reading The Kid one of my close friends changed her mind about her former resistance to the idea of gay couples adopting babies. My wonderful, loving boyfriend has a better appreciation for his gay brothers and sisters than he did when he first started dating me, and this is largely because of the fact that I’ve introduced him to your column.

Your heterosexual readers are your ALLIES, Dan. You have allies, and you have a tremendous impact. You say things, and people start saying them. Just look at how “santorum” caught on. You are in the position to really do something about gay rights in this country, because you have a huge group of people waiting for you to tell them what the fuck to do.

So do what you do best, Dan. Give straight America some advice. Take that anger and put it where it matters. Give your readers some of your passion, and give us a mission. We will follow you.

xoxo,
Your Biggest Fan, Teresa

Tummy Bug, $4.50 an hour, and FOX News

I was going to go to my new babysitting job which pays exactly $4.50 an hour for two kids. This lady seriously needs to be enlightened as to minimum wage and the fact that I’m not an illegal immigrant.

But then I woke up barfing and figured that maybe I ought to skip chasing brats until my stomach quieted down.

I don’t know why they call it the 24-hour flu when the worst of it is over in just 8 hours. I’m feeling good enough now to actually sip flat root beer and type on my computer.

Oh yeah, and give your Representative a call today to let them know that you want them to sign the letter calling FOX News Head Rupert Murdoch to Capitol Hill to discuss how he plans to end the 24/7 partisan bias on his news channel, and of course sign the MoveOn.org petition letting Congress know that we’ve noticed FOX is far from “Fair and Balanced.”

Finally, check out the funny comics on FOX by Mike Luckovich and Gary Trudeau whose Doonesbury comic strip has been “interviewing” Murdoch all week.

They’re Doing it Again

On the 15th of this month, Congresswoman Corrine Brown (D) who represents 600,000 constituents in Florida’s mostly black third congressional district, spoke on the House floor about the 2000 Election, which she calls the “American Coup D’Etat” and what she considers to be the Republican Party’s preparations to steal the election again in 2004. She suggested in all seriousness that we call upon the United Nations to supervise the 2004 Election.

Indeed, this idea may be exactly what the doctor ordered. After all, Walden O’Dell, CEO of Diebold Inc., the company that makes the Diebold Electronic Voting Machine, has pledged to do everything in his power to deliver electoral votes to Bush in states where he is currently selling his machines to be used in the 2004 Election. According to the Miami Herald, the Florida Division of Elections is preparing to bar 47,000 people, the vast majority of whom are black democrats, from voting on Election Day because they are ex-felons. The Herald has discovered that at least 2,119 people on that list have paid their debt to society and have had their right to vote restored by the Governor of Florida.

2,119 votes would have been enough to turn the tide in Florida in the 2000 election. It would have been enough then, and it might be enough this time around too. But instead of instituting an immediate investigation to clear up this mess, the Division of Elections has thrown responsibility for making judgments about who is allowed to vote to local elections officials who, occupied as they are with preparing for the election, do not have the time or resources to make correct determinations about who will be allowed to vote.

As we speak, both presidential campaigns are preparing to legally contest elections in municipalities all over the country should the need arise. This can only end in chaos. Imagine the blow to the United States’ international credibility as a democracy if once again the decision of who becomes president is made by the courts instead of the voters. We have pledged to assist two struggling nations, Iraq and Afghanistan, in their efforts establish true representative democracies, yet we cannot establish such a thing within our own borders.

We must call on the UN immediately to supervise our elections, ensuring that they are free and fair, and impartially reporting their findings to the international community.

We must also call on our Congress to ensure that potential bias does not enter into the voting process by way of these Diebold Electronic Voting Machines. Let us insist on voter verified paper ballots.

To Take Action

Call Congresswoman Brown at (202) 225-0123 and let her know that you support her legislation calling on the UN to supervise our election. Then call your Representative and ask them to co-sponsor and fully support this piece of legislation. Also express your support for H.R. 4792, which would prohibit States from removing individuals from the official list of eligible voters for Federal elections in the State by reason of criminal conviction unless the removal is carried out in accordance with standards providing notice and an opportunity for an appeal.

Then, sign MoveOn.org’s petition instisting on voter verified paper ballots. For more information on how you can work to protect our votes, check out Verified Voting.

—-
News Sources
The Tavis Smiley Show, NPR, July 20, 2004
Miami Herald, July 2, 2004
Common Dreams, August 28, 2003

Political Sources
Press Release from the Office of Representative Brown (D-FLA03), July 15, 2004

Heat Stroke

It’s been in the high 90s and low 100s here for the past week. I’ve been drinking a lot of ice cold water, and I haven’t been able to eat more than just the tiniest bit of food. Anything heavier than ice and cold yoghurt in my stomach makes me feel sluggish. I actually threw up some cheese this morning because it was just too heavy to bear. It’s nearly impossible to get anything done. I’m glad I only have two more weeks before I can get out of here and back to Seattle, where temperatures are in the cool low 80s.

My buddy Elliott (the Marine) on the other hand, is out at Camp Pendleton running 9 miles a day with a 100 pound pack strapped to his ass. I have no fucking clue how he does that shit. I’d die. This pretty much confirms most of what I always knew about the Marines (a) they’re badasses and (b) they’re crazy. I have a hell of a lot of respect for what he’s out there doing, especially since I know I could never actually do it myself.

I don’t think I can stand to actually sit up for much longer. I’m going to go jump under the cold shower and get completely soaked, then stand in front of the fan and wait for nightfall.

Webless Weekend

The ITS people at my school have decided that they just HAVE to shut down internet access to the dorms over the weekend. This means that I won’t be online, so you’ll just have to ring, IM, or text my cell if you want to get in touch.

The weekend’s plans include seeing I, Robot, going to the comedy club, helping Jules secure an apartment, maybe going to Disneyland with Elliot, and possibly playing Capture the Flag, - although that will be tricky to organize without internet access.

Hope everyone has a great weekend. Peace!

Get Your Kicks on Route 66

I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about the music industry lately. Being a successful musician and performer has been a goal of mine for as long as I can remember, but the industry itself can be very unhealthy, and that unhealthiness in show business has me thinking about what I ever really expected from being a famous performer.

As anyone who knows me can attest, I love attention. It used to be that I was happiest when onstage in front of thousands of people, hearing cheers and accolades from the crowd. But in the past couple of years, something has changed that has made me reconsider whether all those public accolades are what I really need. What has brought this question to mind is the dramatic increase I have experienced in the level of satisfaction I have with my life.

It used to be that I saw being rich and famous as the solution to my problems. The attention and adoration of outsiders was supposed to somehow soften the pain of my parent’s divorce. I had visions of all the kids who were mean to me in school growing up, and all the boys and girls who had broken my heart over the years, buying copies of Rolling Stone with my half-naked and perfectly airbrushed image on the cover, and saying to themselves, “man I wish I had made an effort to get on her good side,” or, “I wish I were still with her, she’s so beautiful, so sexy, so perfect.”

But the truth is, I’m sick to death of seeking the approval of outsiders. I’m tired of worrying that if I stop dieting and running like crazy, I’ll get too “fat” for Hollywood. I’m tired of trying to conform to the “look” that I used to think would help me in my search for stardom.

The pop music scene is all about external appearances, about constant reinvention of self and personality, all about these unhealthy standards of beauty. It perpetuates low self-esteem like no other life experience. Why else do you think we see movie stars and entire rock bands constantly in rehab? The party lifestyle has become an intrinsic part of fame because most people who seek to be famous have deep pain that they gloss over with drugs and alcohol.

Jazz, on the other hand, has a completely different standard. Women in Jazz and Blues can be heavy, can have less than perfect manicures, and don’t have to sell their personal lives to the tabloids to sell CDs. It’s about music, not looks, and it’s a place where someone can have a lot of fun, possibly make some money, and not have to wear hair extensions for the rest of her natural life.

The idea of becoming a serious, permanent jazz vocalist has me thinking seriously about why I love music and what I want from my future. It’s still a toss-up as to whether I’ll wind up doing music full time after college or whether I’ll take my ass to graduate school, but I suppose that these things will become clearer as I grow up.

Grits ain’t Groceries, Eggs ain’t Poultry, and Mona Lisa was a Man

Today, opponents of gay marriage failed to put their amendment to the Constitution through the Senate, but the amendment died on procedural, rather than moral grounds.

While I’m glad that this procedural vote defeated the main political goal of forcing Senators Kerry and Edwards to record their votes on the amendment itself, thus making it an issue in the November Election, I think that the Democrat’s successful tactic to prevent a vote on the issue itself deprived the American people a chance to directly defeat a discriminatory and bigoted piece of legislation.

We as a society need to decide what direction we will take in securing the equal rights of all our citizens. Will we continue to allow the “eww” factor some people get when thinking about gay and lesbian sex to govern the nation, or will we look at the issue intellectually and find that equal protection under the law means that everyone has the right to exist in America with the same rights?

The constitutional guarantee of equal protection under the law means that gays and lesbians have the right to marry as straight people do!

“Family” activists argue that gay and lesbian marriages are not the ideal for child rearing, but there are plenty of straight families that are far less ideal. Conservatives, as a rule, oppose more state programs to help children born in to abusive families. They consistently slash budgets for the programs that provide these kids with responsible social workers and loving foster homes.

If these “Family” activists are so keen on protecting the American family, they should start by working to enact budgets with more funding for programs that help parents make good decisions about child-rearing, and protect children whose parents have made poor decisions.

Instead, they are turning to the family issue as a way to stifle the rights of a minority that they don’t happen to like, even when there is no conclusive social scientific evidence that children are any less likely to flourish with two mommies or daddies than with one of each.

I see right through their bullshit. I see them flinching when a gay couple kisses on the corner. They just don’t like gay sex. They think it’s gross. They’re turned off by it.

What these bigots need to learn is that just because something doesn’t sexually arouse you, doesn’t mean that it’s not the right option for another portion of the population. This goes for kinky people, gay people, straight people, bisexuals, trannies of all varieties and lots of others. You can be sexually unaroused by something, even disgusted by it, and not be a bigot if you just acknowledge that it’s not for you, but ok for those who like it.

I don’t happen to get turned on by the idea of shooting a living creature and then coming home to have missionary style sex with my wife. I’m downright disgusted by the idea, but I won’t deny George Bush his right to do so. I’m not a bigot. Can GW say the same?

PRIDE!

A Note on Princesshood

We Princesses are a special breed, but we’re not born Princesses. We are either made Princesses, or more often, we make ourselves into Princesses.

According to Francesca Castagnoli’s book, the Bible for all Princesses, we Princesses are the sort of women who know who we are, know what we want, and aren’t afraid to go after it. We’re not afraid to pamper ourselves, or to indulge our feelings, desires for food, sex, or fun, and don’t go around putting everyone else’s needs before our own. We buy our own Manolos (or Steve Maddens), drive our own BMWs (or Toyotas), and buy our own diamonds, be they Tiffany or Robbins Brothers.

It used to be bad to be a Princess, because that meant that you were self-obsessed and spoiled, but we self-posessed and self-sufficient women have taken that name back and put it in it’s rightful context.

We are Princesses, hear us roar!

FMA Stands for Fuckup Moralizing Assholes

I don’t want to go into all the arguments for and against gay marriage. I’ve done all that before. It’s not like I’m going to change people’s minds.

Still, I’ll be damned if I’ll stand by and let closed-minded bigots who rely on their “eww” factor instead of their conscience to shape my rights and the rights of my fellow Americans.

If the FMA passes tomorrow, I solemnly swear that I will enter into no marriage or civil union, neither in the United States nor abroad, until it is repealed.

I call on you all to make the same pledge, and to let the Bushies and Congress know that by signing this petition courtesy of MoveOn.org and mentioning your committment to lawmakers in the section of the petition that asks for your personal comments.

Let’s make it clear to lawmakers that the FMA will damage the institution of marriage, while gay marriage will strengthen it.

PRIDE!

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