Death: Not So Bad

People often choose to dwell on the inevitability of death when they feel sad. “Life sucks and then you die,” and all that. But death isn’t really all that frightening a prospect. It reminds us that nothing is permanent. It forces us to savor things and to do what we can. Death’s inevitability makes sweet moments sweeter, because we know instinctually that they’re precious.

The other side of the coin is equally relevant. Life can present insurmountable challenges. There are issues we’ll never resolve, wounds that will never heal. There will always be paperwork, moving house, telemarketers, traffic and dust bunnies under the bed. Death offers us a respite from all those things that drive us nuts. Someday, each and every one of us will come to the end - and we’ll never have to file another tax return. That’s almost comorting when you’re swamped with work or stuck on the 10.

You’re probably thinking, “yeah right! She’s 21 years old! She still thinks she’s immortal.” But I really don’t. I know I’m going to die someday. I can imagine being all corpsified and gross. I’m not really bothered by the fact that someday my beauty will fade. I’m determined to take care of myself and enjoy it while I have it.

There have been times in my life where I’ve contemplated suicide. I used to think about driving my car over the edge of a steep cliffside highway in the San Gabriels. But when I fantasized about driving over that edge, I realized that the second it was too late to turn back, I would want to live. That specter of death was all the kick in the ass I needed. I might still have been sad, but at least I knew that ending it was not the answer.

So when it’s my time - I’ll try to go with as much dignity as I can muster. I hope that in my life, I won’t lose sight of the things that death reminds us to cherish. I hope that I’ll go into death the same way I went into life: as an adventure worth having.