Her tee-shirt speaks the truth.

I dare you to name one Republican you’d like to do anything with beyond a nice debate over paté.

I wonder if her tee shirt has the same text on the front. That would sure explain the look on President Clinton’s face. But seriously, who wears a big baggy tee shirt and ponytail to meet Bill Clinton. You can bet if that was me, I’d be dressed a little cuter. I’ll bet he’d be the all-time best flirt EVER.

Joss Whedon Should Stick to TV Shows

It’s not as if Joss Whedon’s much awaited Serenity isn’t interesting or fun to watch. It just doesn’t hang together very well. The dialogue is typical Whedon - brilliant, funny, fresh. And the film panders a great deal to fans of the original Firefly show that FOX ineptly canceled after one fantastic season.

The film has it’s irresistable moments, like the wide-eyed River Tam sitting in a jet propelled land vehicle that has just crashed into the spaceship’s cargo hold, gulping and saying, horrified, “I swallowed a bug.”

And of course there’s that scene between Kaylee and Simon when, beset by the evil, flesh-eating reavers, they pledge that they’ll have passionate sex the minute they get out of this mess. After all, Kaylee hasn’t had anything “twixt my nethers in more than a year that don’t run on batteries.”

Priceless.

Still - Serenity never really convinces you that the bad guys are really bad. They tell you how evil they are, but when they try to show you, there’s something fundementally off about the timing.

There are also a number of nitpicky plot points that don’t work between TV show and film. I can’t really talk about them without ruining the movie for everyone that didn’t hit theaters at midnight for the first showing.

Still, given the sleep I missed out on - I’m not sure this movie was worth it.

B-

Chief Justice Roberts

It’s not a big surprise that John Roberts was confirmed as Chief Justice despite the Republican Party’s recent woes. He’s dispassionate, thoughtful, and has an impeccable judicial record. I can’t even say that I’m upset about the 78-22 vote in his favor. Despite how much I hate the Bush administration, I have to say that in this case our President picked well.

After all, Roberts understands the concept of stare decisis when it comes to Roe v. Wade. And while I’m not a one-issue voter, a candidate’s stance on abortion rights is the first thing I look at when making up my mind.

Would I like a Chief Justice in the mold of a Ruth Bader Ginsburg? Absolutely. Am I going to get one with this administration? No fucking way. So in the absence of someone ultra-liberal, a decent conservative will have to do.

What remains to be seen is how Bush’s next judicial nominee will go over. His political capital has gone down even further since his selection of Roberts. He could select someone extremely conservative, forcing a very ugly and partisan battle in Congress in the hopes of energizing his base for the 2006 midterm. Or he could go for someone in the mold of Edith Clement. I believe the latter is the more likely choice, and the one that I would support.

I Love You Too, Grandma

It’s funny how stacks of old paper act like time capsules. They trap pieces of paper you never thought you’d treasure until you find them years later. I found just such a piece of paper the other day: a letter from my Grandma Bert, who died my senior year of high school.

The letter was folded up, still in its original envelope, in my cedar stationary box between a couple of postcards from France and a reciept from The Gap. She wrote it on September 13, 2000 - less than a year before she died - on her Humane Society stationary. She wanted to thank me for a little stone gargoyle I’d brought back from Paris for her. She included an article about Ed McMahon’s www.nextbigstar.com. She thought I should audition. She wanted me to be a star.

The paper is smudged in places with what looks like her Estee Lauder lipstick. I think she must have smeared some on her fingers when she brought them to her mouth. I’m not sure why, but she rubbed her mouth a lot. Maybe it was her dentures that bothered her. Maybe it was a lifelong mannerism. I don’t know.

Here’s the letter in its entirity. I’ve included all the spellings as they were in the letter. Grandma never would have admitted it, but she didn’t graduate high school. Mispellings notwithstanding, I think it deserves to be preserved forever in the blogosphere. She was an amazing woman. I miss her.
——
My Dear Teresa,

Thank you for that ugly, ugly devil. he is so ugly that he’s cute. I have him sitting on the end of my kitchen counter, so I can see him most of the time. Thanks for thinking of me.

If I had known that your Mom & Peter didn’t leave Ocean Shores until 7:30-P.M. I would have insisted some one bring you over to see & ride my scooter (maybe next time).

All is well here, Deb & Al went to Olympia today. They wanted me to go along, but I just did not feel like it - I get ever so tired when I have a full day going on place to a nother, wear’s me out.

Did your mom ever give you the knee high’s I gave her for you? Can you wear them?

It sure is hot outside today (over) I just cannot take the steam like I used to.

Inclused is the paper I was telling you about. I just figgured you would like to see it. I think you are a star, no matter what anyone else things, all tho you do come up with some crazy stupid ideas in your head at times.

It is getting close to 5-P.M. and I have to watch - “Judge Judy” I get a kick out of her. I wouldn’t want her against me in a trial suit.

Take care, God bless-
Love you
Grandma

Tough Times for the Republican Party

Tom DeLay’s (R-TX) indictment today on charges of conspiracy in a campaign finance scheme added yet another item to the GOP’s growing list of political nightmares. The indictment comes on the heels of an SEC investigation into Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist’s (R-TN) sale of his HCA stock before the price dropped substantially. Add that to President Bush’s low approval ratings - only 40% of the country still thinks he’s doing a good job - and former FEMA head Michael Brown’s completely unreasonable comments before the House Katrina panel and you have one hell of a mess for the GOP. I’m not sure even Rove can dig them out of this one, especially considering the investigation into his involvement with revealing the name of an undercover CIA operative to the press.

It’s impossible to know whether the Republicans will be able to rebound by the November 7, 2006 midterm election. But it’s becoming clear that if the Democrats are ever going to reassert their cachet as a political power, the time is now. In the presence of all this corruption, it’s not enough to sit and criticize. That’s the role of a minority party. These unfolding scandals on the right side of the aisle give the Dems the chance to be the majority party again, and they have to start acting like it. That means outlining clear alternatives to Bush’s key agenda points - demonstrating to the American people that the Democratic Party has a vision for the future of this country.

Your Heroes Failed

Frank Warren’s PostSecret is an online compendium of people’s secrets. People create beautiful artwork based on their secrets and send their creations to Warren on postcards. Sometimes, a secret will hit so unbelievably close to home - like this one did.

It’s no secret that our heroes have failed because their leaders set them up to fail. We’ve wasted their heroism on this bullshit war, quite literally throwing their broken bodies and spirits in the dumpster.

Last Night Was Amazing, Billie Joe

Last night, I took my little brother to his first rock concert ever. The lucky band: Green Day. Not to sound like a groupie or anything, but they were INCREDIBLE. Everything from the opening number (”American Idiot”) to the final number (Billie Joe singing “Time of Your Life” alone with an acoustic guitar and a single spotlight) was exciting and fresh. Yes, even for someone who has listened to their CDs ad nauseum for almost ten years now.

On top of the great music, the band’s onstage antics were hilarious. My favorite moment was when Billie Joe stuck his hands down his pants, started moaning and finally howled, “SOMEONE PLEASE FUCK ME! I LIKE IT ROUGH!” The entire female portion of the audience went nuts, including me. I’ve never found myself attracted to the short, skinny, punk rock type - but there was just something about him in that moment that was impossible to resist. I guess I know now why rock stars get laid as often as they do.

But I certainly don’t want to reduce the artistic import of Green Day’s work to an onstage orgasm - no matter how hot. After all, American Idiot is the hands-down best album of the decade, if not of my generation. I think history will look back on American Idiot as the Who’s Next of our time. The show reflected both the quality of the music, and the band’s rare ability to not take itself too seriously - even in the midst of recognizing its own genius.

Five Stars.

Cheppy Peurple Beurzday!!!!

Cheppy Peurple Beurzday to You.
Cheppy Peurple Beurzday to You.
Cheppy Peurple Beurzday dear Debboooo.
Cheppy Peurple Beurzday to YOOOOOOU!!!!

For those of you who have no idea what the fuck I am talking about, I will explain. The eminently funny Deborah van Dam - who also happens to be so beautiful that sometimes you wonder whether she’s even from this planet - is 22 today.

Back in the day, when we were in college, Deb, Jules and I were curled up on my bed with Dan Rosenholtz watching Sex and the City. The episode was called Catch-38. It’s the one where Carrie finds out that the Russian guy she’s been dating, Alexandr Petrovsky, has a grown daughter. He is telling Carrie about his daughter’s 7th birthday party, which was, “peurple. Everysink vas peurple. Ze cake vas peurple, ze shoes vere peurple, ze dress vas peuprle.”

Deborah, as though inspired, looked around at us and said, “I vant a peurple beurzday!”

It was just so funny at the time that we had to back up the DVD because we were laughing so hard we missed what happened next. And from then on, anytime anyone had a birthday - it was a “peurple beurzday.”

So Cheppy 22 Ms. van Dam. You will never be old. You’ll just keep getting prettier.

Billy Boy in Trouble

Bill Frist does an awful lot of shooting himself in the foot for someone who wants to run for President in 2008. It’s almost as if the man is completely incapable of helping his own cause. First he went on national television and claimed that HIV can be spread through sweat and tears.

Then he got behind that untimely and unpopular Senate interference in the end-of-life decisions of the Schiavo family - even attempting to “diagnose” Terri Schavio as not being in a persistent vegitative state based on one videotape.

And now it looks as if our dear Billy Boy has gone and done some insider trading. I know, I know. It’s only speculation. There’s been no Grand Jury. No indictments have been handed down. But in the court of public opinion - and that’s the only one that matters for an election - Frist is as good as guilty.

Here’s why. If you want to be elected President, the American public needs a clear picture of who you are and what you stand for. It doesn’t matter whether the picture is entirely accurate, or even very issue-specific - but it must evoke the patriotic warm fuzzies. It’s called character folks, and you’re totally screwed if you don’t have it. John Kery forgot that when he left himself open to Rove’s accusations of flip-flopping.

Now Frist is falling prey to the same mistake. He’s a lifelong conservative - but he only recently jumped on the pro-life, anti-sex ed, NeoConservative bandwagon. The problem is that he picked the wrong issue to do it with. When he saw how unpopular the whole Schavio thing was becoming, he backed off and made himself look just as amorphous and flip-floppy as John Kerry ever did.

Now by selling his HCA stock a month before the price dropped nine percent, he’s added a shadow of corruption to the amorphous blob that represents him in the American psyche - whether or not anyone ever makes the charge stick. In a post Ken Lay world, the very idea of insider trading is enough to make us smell blood in the water.

Whether or not Bill Frist will be able to recover enough from his blundering in time to mount a Presidential campaign remains to be seen. But I doubt it.

Semiahmoo and The Commitment

I had an amazing gig last night at the Semiahmoo Inn in Bellingham, WA. The group that hired me to sing put me up at the inn, fed me, AND paid me well. I feel like some kind of super star. It was really strange coming back to my totally un-luxurious apartment after a night of gorgeous bay views, all the fine wine I could drink, a huge spa and 600 thread count Egyptian cotton sheets.

There was a wedding at the inn at sunset before my performance. I could see the wedding service from my window. The bride and groom tied the knot in front of the water with cute little bunnies (native to the area) hopping around the meadow, seals popping their heads up, and the sun setting over the water. It seriously made me reconsider the Long Island wedding. Maybe Andy and I will have two services - an Episcopalian service on Long Island and a Jewish wedding up at Semiahmoo. Or maybe we’ll just elope to Las Vegas and have big parties at both locations. Lord almighty, I have two years until my wedding and I’m already Bridezilla.

It was appropriate that so much wedding spirit was in the air, as I started (and finished) Dan Savage’s new book The Commitment during my trip. It was brilliant, as I expected. Dan approaches the issue of gay marriage with his usual wit. There were moments I found myself laughing so hard that I’m sure the people in the next room thought I was insane. I also found myself bawling at Dan’s description of himself bawling during his last-minute wedding ceremony to Terry - his boyfriend of ten years - in Vancouver. He’s to be congratulated on his wedding, his family, and the latest in his series of brilliant books.

I will close with a quote from an unlikely source, Dr. James Dobson. As Dan points out in The Commitment, for someone as anti-gay marriage as Dobson, this quote sure is gender-neutral.

“Don’t marry the person you think you can live with; marry only the individual you think you can’t live without.” - James Dobson

Madame President and A Few More Musings on Stay at Home Mothers

Anyone who knows me knows what I think about television. I haven’t followed a network TV show since Star Trek: Voyager went off the air. So it may come as a surprise that I’m really, re-heeeealy excited about Commander in Chief which premieres this coming Tuesday at 9pm on NBC. In a distinctly anti-feminist political climate, it will be very nice indeed to escape for an hour each week into a world where a woman runs our country.

But let’s not dismiss this potentially powerful show as mere liberal escapism. If it’s good - as I suspect it will be given the apt casting of Geena Davis as President Mackensie Allen - then its ratings could serve as a barometer for how ready this country is to elect a woman President. As one blogger put it, “I’m sure Hillary will be watching the Nielsens closely.”

And like it or not, television has a serious impact on our national thinking. Will and Grace lent a new level of normalcy to being out, gay, and totally chic. Sex and the City took the “pathetic” out of being a single thirty-something woman and introduced a thankful nation to The Rabbit. Who’s to say that Commander in Chief won’t revolutionize the way we think about gender roles in this country? ABC could well be laying the path for a woman to take the Oval Office in ‘08.

Let’s hope so.
——
And now on to the New York Times article about a new generation of highly educated women opting to stay home with their children. I’ve had time to mull over the issues a little more - and I wanted to clarify my thinking.

The problem isn’t that edcuated women are choosing to stay home. If a woman wants to get an education, and then be a stay-at-home mom, that’s her prerogative. I support her decision completely. After all, being a good parent is the most important job on the planet. No, stay-at-home mothers don’t trouble me. What troubles me is what this phenomenon says about our society’s definition of appropriate male roles.

I get a range of responses when I tell people that my fiancé is a high school computer science teacher. I’ve been told that I’m a good person for seeing past his paycheck. I’ve been asked with concern whether I think he’ll be a good provider. One older man who mistakenly thought I was for sale assumed that Andy must have an inheritance for me to consider marrying him. Most people I’ve talked to have been completely committed to the idea that a man’s only appropriate role is to provide financially for his family.

If my personal experience generlizes to the rest of the population - and I suspect it does - then men’s roles in our country are even more constricted than women’s. But what if a man loves his low-paying job? What if it makes him happy? What if at the end of the day, he’s got boundless energy and affection to shower on his family because he LOVES what he does for a living? What if his job gives him the summer off to do household projects and chase babies? What if his wife is the one bringing home the bacon? Or in my case, the challah? Does that make him less of a man?

I think not. And until we start supporting men’s right to take lower-paying, lower-stress jobs, or to stay home with their children altogether - we women won’t be able to realize our dreams of success both at home, and in the workplace. This is a time to share power, not to just reverse roles. This isn’t about emasculating men, it’s about empowering them to be nurturers as well as providers - to finally be the equal partners straight (and bi) women have been looking for.

The Post to End All Posts: Elections…Highly Educated Women Headed for Careers as Wife and Mother…Military Creepiness…WHEW!

ELECTIONS
Today’s primary was the first election run by King County since last year’s gubernatorial clusterfuck. While the results are still out on whether KC Elections was able to clean up its act, I can report that elections proceedings at Robert Frost Elementary in Kirkland, WA - where I was a Poll Judge - went well all day.

There was one tiny problem with a discrepancy between the ballot codes printed on the ballot stubs and those printed in the poll books. In all cases, the numbers were off by one. At least the discrepancy was consistent among all the ballots and poll books at our polling place. I heard that this was a problem at other polling places as well, but I didn’t hear specifics. If the problem is consistent throughout all the polling places, then I can’t see it causing too much of an uproar.

When the polls closed at 8:00pm, all ballots were accounted for. The AccuVote machine worked splendidly except in the case of one ballot - on which the voter refused to pick a party. That ballot was placed in a special pouch and delivered to Elections headquarters with the other ballots. All absentee ballots were accounted for, including one that our intrepid Poll Inspector rescued from its wedged position inside the black box. The entire crew was really wonderful - and I feel like at least this one corner of King County Elections was running like butter today.
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Elephants don’t stand on stools, dumbass!

I’ve never been a big fan of PETA. While I agree with their basic mission that animals should be treated humanely and ethically, I find something about the fanaticism with which they approach the whole thing distinctly unappealing. But I have to say that I found myself agreeing with them after yesterday’s little excursion to the Barnum & Bailey / Ringling Brothers circus.

It’s pretty obvious that elephants’ bodies are not meant to stand on little stools. Tigers (unlike Tiggers) are not meant to hop around on their hind legs. And horses were not built to sidestep all the way around an arena, or walk on their hind legs for extended periods of time.

I have no problem with teaching animals to do tricks. My own dogs sit, shake, roll over, and fetch. But those are tricks that come naturally to dogs. What’s more, dogs can be trained to do those tricks by periodically reinforcing the desired behavior with praise and a treat.

I don’t even have a problem with teaching elephants or tigers to do tricks that come naturally to elephants or tigers. The Woodland Park Zoo in Seattle has a wonderful elephant show, where the elephants do natural elephant things. They lift small logs, spray water with their trunks, roll in the dirt, and trumpet on command. Tigers in the wild animal show jump from platform to platform with grace and skill, but hind leg hopping is most definitely not part of the routine.

There is a very clear difference between these wild animal shows and traveling circuses. For one, the animals at the zoo get to spend the majority of their days hanging out in naturalistic habitats with their fellow creatures. They learn to perform a few natural behaviors on command, and the result is that zoo visitors are educated and enlightened about the abilities and behaviors of various species.

Circus animals, on the other hand, are trained to do unnatural tricks that actually cause them physical harm. Despite my dislike of PETA, I have to admit that they’ve got some pretty compelling shit on Barnum & Bailey / Ringling Brothers. Their website (www.circuses.com) features videos of B&B trainers beating elephants with bullhooks. They cite USDA reports that the B&B circuses have been repeatedly written up for keeping their elephants and tigers in squalid conditions, neglecting them, and not giving them timely or proper medical care. In a few documented instances, animals have died under these conditions from entirely preventable illnesses or injuries.

But beyond all of PETA’s claims, the evidence I trust most is what I can see with my own eyes. There was something about the animals in the circus that made me incredibly sad. They didn’t look like animals having fun. There was nothing playful about the way they did their acts. They looked sad, tired, and defeated. One elephant even had tears running down her trunk. I assume her eyes were irritated from the gunpowder in the air - as I’ve never heard of elephants actually crying - but I could be wrong.

In any case, I won’t be going back to the circus anytime soon.

Preach it, Brother Horsey!

Perfect Example of Post-Katrina Racism

Thank you Albino Blacksheep!

Gluttons for Punishment

I witnessed a scene last weekend that was pretty sad. It’s a pretty typical scenario - girl likes boy who isn’t interested. Boy snubs girl. Girl makes a complete idiot of herself acting like she doesn’t care while having an obvious drunken emotional breakdown in front of everyone. The story’s so classic it’s practically an archetype, except in this case, the girl was in her 40’s. We’ve all had to learn that lesson at one time or another - but it makes me wonder how many times she’s been through that exact same situation. And how many more times she’ll seek out the pain of chasing a guy who couldn’t give less of a shit. I wonder what the standard age for learning that lesson is. Maybe I learned it ahead of the curve if there are people in their 40s who still don’t get it.

A Timeline of Indifference

Friday, Aug. 26:
- Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco declares a state of emergency in Louisiana and requests troop assistance.

Saturday, Aug. 27:
- Gov. Blanco asks for federal state of emergency.
- A federal emergency is declared giving federal officials the authority to get involved.

Sunday, Aug. 28:
- New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin orders mandatory evacuation of New Orleans.
- President Bush warned of Levee failure by National Hurricane Center.
- National Weather Service predicts area will be “uninhabitable” after Hurricane arrives.
- First reports of water toppling over the levee appear in newspapers.

Monday, Aug. 29:
- Levee breaches and New Orleans begins to fill with water.
- Bush travels to Arizona and California to discuss Medicare.
- FEMA chief finally responds to federal emergency, dispatching employees but giving them two days to arrive on site.

Tuesday, Aug. 30:
- Mass looting reported, security shortage cited in New Orleans.
- Pentagon officials who do not know the situation on the ground tell local officials that they have adequate National Guard units to handle hurricane needs despite governor’s earlier request.
- Bush returns to Crawford for final day of vacation. He is the most vacationed President in the history of the US.
- TV coverage is around-the-clock Hurricane news.

Wednesday, Aug. 31:
- Tens of thousands trapped in New Orleans including at Convention Center and Superdome without food, water, or medical care. They are surrounded in their own excrement, vomit, and the bodies of those who died from exhaustion and dehydration.
- A ten year old girl is reportedly raped early Wednesday morning in the bathroom of the Superdome. Other rapes are also reported.
- President Bush finally returns to Washington to establish a task force to coordinate federal response.
- Local authorities along the Gulf Coast run out of food, water, and supplies.

Thursday, Sept. 1:
- New Orleans descends into anarchy.
- New Orleans Mayor issues a “Desperate SOS” to federal government.
- Bush claims nobody predicted the breach of the levees despite multiple warnings and his earlier briefing.

Friday, Sept. 2:
- Karl Rove begins Bush administration campaign to blame state and local officials—despite their repeated requests for help.
- Bush stages a photo-op—diverting Coast Guard helicopters and crew to act as backdrop for cameras.
- Levee repair work is orchestrated for the President’s visit to create more photo ops for the White House Press Corps.

Saturday, Sept. 3:
- Bush administration continues to blame state and local officials.
- Senior administration official (possibly Rove) caught in a lie claiming Gov. Blanco had not declared a state of emergency or asked for help.

Monday, Sept. 5:
- After touring the Astrodome in Houston, President Bush’s mother comments to a Marketplace reporter that, “so many of the people in the arena here, you know, were underprivileged anyway, so this is working very well for them” - her comment further illustrates the systemic indifference of wealthy Americans to the plight of the poor.
- New Orleans officials begin to collect their dead.

(Adapted from the Katrina Timeline at thinkprogress.org)

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