Self-perception and Success

Both of my parents have an intense work ethic, which I seem to have inherited. I was so determined to get into a good college that in high school, I hooked my GPA directly to my self-esteem and worked like a dog. I’d get to school at 5:30 in the morning and I wouldn’t leave until 7:00 many nights. With choir, musicals, and all the AP classes I took - I didn’t really have much of a life outside of textbooks and rehearsals.

Then in college I gave myself a bit of a break. Yes, I’d still beat myself up if I missed class or turned in a sloppy assignment, but I figured that I’d worked hard in high school to enjoy a good college. So I did. And now I’m out in the working world and I feel like I’ve got to regain all the self-discipline I had in high school but lost in college.

And of course, I never give myself enough credit. Because I’m pretty sure I’m doing fine on most counts. But there’s something about making sure I’ve clocked that 40th (or 50th) hour each week that reminds me of the days when I would set up algebra equations to calculate the score I’d have to get on my final exam to keep my “A” in the class.

And until I manage to take over my car insurance payments from my dad and my cell phone bills from my mom, I won’t feel like a self-supporting adult. Even if I am paying my own rent, health insurance, internet and utilities and putting food in the fridge. I know this is a transitional period and it takes a while after college for a person to function independently - but it feels like I’m waiting interminably to get my life off the ground.

By the way, Verizon sucks! When my term of service is up, I’m switching to Comcast.