Nintendo Exec’s Get Annoyed With Fat, Lazy Americans, Invent “Wii”

So I played the new Wii last night. Originally I had thought that it was just another console, but I was wrong. While the only game I got to play was the relatively crappy game that comes with Wii, it was very clear that this is something new.

Rather than sitting around for two hours playing video games and getting fat while my muscles dissolve and my thumbs get calluses, I actually got a workout in from Wii. I good one. Thanks to its special motion-sensitive controllers, the Wii gets you up and moving around. The result is both a fun, calorie-burning workout, and the most addictive video game console ever.

Leave it to the executives at Nintendo, whose addictive video games helped jump start our childhood obesity epidemic to come up with a solution.