Why MeanKids.org Failed
March 28, 2007
Some very cruel things were said in the blogosphere this week about a friend of mine. When I read them in Google’s cache of the now defunct Meankids.org site, I nearly lost it. I can only imagine how she, her husband, and her family felt.
When faced with genuine human goodness, some people can’t handle it. They attack and belittle it because they simply can’t understand it. They try to sully it and tear it down to their level. And they fail every time.
The people behind those very cruel posts on Meankids.org and its offshoots can’t handle Maryam Scoble, Kathy Sierra, or any of the other people they targeted. Their only hope in the face of brilliance, decency and honesty is to tear down and belittle. They are no better than sixth grade bullies. Their jealousy and bitterness erupted sideways and exposed them for the pathetic cowards they truly are.
Some say that Meankids.org casts shame on the entire blogosphere, but I don’t believe we should give them that much power. They’re simply not worth it. They failed because they can never permanently tarnish the people they set out to attack. They can hurt, and they can instill fear. But hurt and fear can last only so long before righteous anger and growing strength take their place.
Robert Scoble wrote that we should spend the next week talking about how to fix the culture of misogyny and cruelty in the blogosphere. The solution is in our ability to stand up for one another and call the perpetrators of death threats, hate speech and viciousness on their disgusting pettiness. It’s in making genuine human connections paramount.
The rest is just details.
see http://duckdown.blogspot.com/2007/03/kathy-sierra-and-ethics.html
Duck: I read your post, and you’re absolutely entitled to your opinion. But keep in mind that I’m not accusing any particular individual. I don’t know who wrote about Maryam, I don’t know who wrote about Kathy.
What I do know is that the things they said were inexcusable, and that the most likely motivator for their cruel behavior is the same thing that motivates sixth grade bullies.
Duck,
I agree that public opinion assumes silence is guilt, and that is unfair. However, in this case it wasn’t silence that made it an issue, it was inaction.
I think there are two possibilities:
1) The threats, comments, pictures were posted anonymously with no way to find out who really did it - which, drawing from your post linked on this page, I assume is your assertion. However, as the managers for the webpage posting it, everyone Kathy Sierra named is guilty for displaying that material. No comment from those managers was necessary, because leaving it up there was an endorsement.
2) The managers were the ones who put up the material, which makes them guilty of what she is accusing.
Whether or not they are guilty of endorsing threats or making them themselves is up to the legal system. The court of public opinion has no legal power and can only convict meankids and RageBoy of one offense: being giant oozing deuschbags. You’re right that RageBoy and meankids will most likely be convicted of this offense regardless of what really happened, but having read Kathy Sierra’s comments, and what meankids/RageBoy responded with–I’m inclined to side with Sierra. If they didn’t want to be branded by public opinion then they shouldn’t have allowed the material to be posted.
Side note: does anyone know how to actually spell deuschbag?
Jeff: As usual, you hit the nail on the head.
And it’s spelled “douchebag”
“The solution is in our ability to stand up for one another and call the perpetrators of death threats, hate speech and viciousness on their disgusting pettiness. It’s in making genuine human connections paramount.”
Beautifully put. Whatever the specific legal circumstances are, whoever the responsible parties are, it’s up to us to foster a community that rewards honest communication and discourages hateful attacks. The blogosphere is capable of bringing us together; why ruin it with the same nonsense we get anywhere else?
Quoting Heinlein (like I do), “a dying culture invariably exhibits personal rudeness. Bad manners. Lack of consideration for others in minor matters. A loss of politeness, of gentle manners, is more significant than a riot.”
Oh, and Jeff: the spelling is ‘douchebag’.
i never knew or read kathy’s work, but i’d like to share this quotation from the epigraph of “a confederacy of dunces”, my favorite book. i think it is appropriate:
“When a true genius appears in the world, you may know him by this sign, that the dunces are all in confederacy against him.” –Jonathan Swift
Wow. It’s appalling what some people try to get away with when they think they’re anonymous. I’ve had my own problems with bullies on forums and the blogosphere so I know how ugly these things can get. Kathy is making a mistake though. She shouldn’t allow them to stop her from writing and blogging. It means that they’ve won and that’s exactly what they want.
Teresa: I don’t know if you ever read Slashdot, but there’s a story on there today about Kathy and some proposed measures to prevent this sort of thing in the future.
Clickity:
http://yro.slashdot.org/article.pl?sid=07/04/10/0257213