Salvia and Stupidity
March 13, 2008
A relatively new drug named Salvia has gained some popularity recently. The drug, which is legal, is relatively cheap and causes minor hallucinations for around an hour. It sounds rather similar in nature to psilocybin, the active ingredient in “magic mushrooms.” Salvia is reportedly impossible to overdose on, non-addictive, and does not cause any aggressive behaviors. In other words, there are little risks to the user, and little risks to those around them. Although there are no official statistics on its usage, it is believed to be used widely be aging hippies.
However, anytime people are getting high Republicans need to flip out, and several states are trying to make possession of salvia a felony. Since the war on drugs has been extremely successful, and heroin and marijuana use are receding rapdily it seems logical to open up another front.
Andy! I’m surprised at you! Don’t you know that any time people are getting high it’s helping the terrorists win?
We need to detain salvia users and suspend habeas corpus so we can torture salvia owners until they admit that they’re part of an evil plot to allow the entire population of mexico across the border so they can take our precious manufacturing jobs and get on welfare!
Don’t you know anything, Andy? The best way to win ANY war is to stretch your resources as thin as possible. It worked for the War on Terror and it will work for the War on Drugs! Salvia is the new Iraq!