I Want A Bailout Too

Today, the Treasury Department “injected” $5 billion into GMAC (GM’s finance arm) and another $1 billion into GM itself. Inject being a nice way of saying “gave away”, “wasted”, or “threw into a bottomless volcano on planet Venus.” Never mind of course that this was an unconstitutional reach of the executive branch, as the money given (from TARP) was authorized only for banking institutions. The Democrats won’t complain. They got the bailout they wanted without having to piss me and everyone who doesn’t live in Michigan off themselves.

Since the President apparently now has the authority to give however much money who wants to whomever he wants for whatever reasons he wants, I have decided that now is the time to ask for a bailout myself. As many of you who read this blog regularly know, I have some minor financial setbacks myself, and have requested federal bailout money from Congress in the past. However, these requests have fallen on deaf ears. While there were some Senators and Congressman on my side, as well as the President-Elect, I still have not received federal bailout money. I am now days away from bankruptcy, just as my friends at GM were yesterday.

So my hope is that, as the President now has virtually unlimited power (he can torture whoever he wants for no reason, is spying on everyone, and can use federal money for any purpose), he can perhaps throw some of the money we are borrowing from China and Saudi Arabia my way. Pretty please. My burn rate is high, but it’s no where near GM’s $28 billion annually.