I Finally Did Something About the Weight Loss Ads on Facebook

I’ve been complaining for months now about all the weight loss ads that have popped up on Facebook ever since they instituted self-serve advertising. I finally decided to shut the hell up and actually do something about it.

I bought an ad:

If you click it, it takes you to the Love Your Body Day website. I’m going to run the ad through April 7. I’ve set the maximum daily budget to the minimum of $5.00. I targeted it to single women between 18 and 30. I pirated the image of the Reubenesque Barbie doll from the Body Shop’s campaign in the late 90’s. Today, the ad had 12 clicks and 6,590 impressions.

I sincerely hope that it reached even a few women and that fewer people clicked on asinine ads like these:

If you like this idea, why not try it yourself. It’s relatively easy to set up an ad to run for a few days, you don’t need to spend more than $5.00 a day and you can reach thousands of people. If even a few people do this, we can reach a wider audience with the message that we’re all tired of seeing ads on Facebook that try to make us insecure about our bodies.

Am I a Feminist? That Depends on What “Feminism” Means

Most of the women profiled in Elinor Burkett’s The Right Women are the product of a post-feminist age. They argue that feminism is no longer necessary because women have already achieved legal parity with men. Now, they say, is the time for feminists to stop (a) perpetuating the victimhood of women and (b) purporting to speak for all women.

In short, they argue that feminism is no longer necessary because all the advances that women need to make, we have made. They’re right. There is very little that can be done at the government level to further women’s needs. But I think too often, we confuse government with society. And there is still a lot that a feminist perspective can do for women in our society today.

To me, feminism is the idea that:

• Women are complex, flawed human beings who can contribute to society in a number of ways.
• Women deserve to be paid commensurate with our expertise, experience and talent on a scale equal to that of our male peers.
• Women have an inalienable right to control our reproductivity and we deserve society’s trust and support in making decisions related to it.

This last point is especially important, because it’s the right most directly under attack. Many conservatives argue that to free a woman’s sexuality from the inevitability of childbirth is to divorce a woman from the profound contribution she can make by becoming a mother.

The fundamental problem with this attitude is that it does not trust women to make those decisions for themselves.

Perhaps we can make our own choices and walk our own tightropes without the feminists or the conservatives getting in the middle.

Disgusted with the Media’s Response to Pregnancy Announcement by Jaime Lynn Spears

By now, the news is everywhere that Britney Spears’ 16 year-old sister Jaime Lynn is pregnant and plans to keep her baby and raise it in Louisiana.

Jaime Lynn is the star of the popular Nickelodeon show Zoey 101 and with the announcement that she’s expecting there is some question as to the show’s future.

The media is having a field day with all of this. But the hands-down most misogynistic statements came (predictably) from mega-celebrity blogger Perez Hilton:

Dang. We thought Jamie Lynn was the nice and normal one.

Now we know she’s just trailer trash like her sister!!!

…

Bitch is begging for her job!

Do you think Nickelodeon should let her keep it??????

When Sarah Jessica Parker got pregnant, the Sex and the City producers had a choice: either make the character pregnant, or shoot around the pregnancy. They shot around the pregnancy and all was well. The same thing was true for Roxanne Dawson on Star Trek: Voyager.

Why is Jaime Lynn any different? Yeah, she’s 16, but she’s a professional. She should not be relegated to has-been status at Nickelodeon because she had a birth control slip up and has made the decision to become a mother.

I feel terrible for this girl. It’s hard enough to be sixteen and pregnant without having to answer questions from reporters about the dangers of premarital sex:

What message does the sixteen year old Spears want to send to other teens about premarital sex?

“I definitely don’t think it’s something you should do; it’s better to wait,” she says. “But I can’t be judgmental because it’s a position I put myself in.”

How about birth control? Can someone please talk about the obvious? Can’t we please have a conversation in this country about teenage sex that doesn’t come down to, “just don’t do it?”

I know there are far more pressing issues in the world, but the tempest that’s rising around this story is really driving me nuts. So much recrimination and cruelty where there should be compassion and support.

“Fat Slut:” Killing Our Teenage Girls One MySpace Bulletin at a Time

By now, most of the country has learned about the suicide of Megan Meier last October. The Missouri teen was the victim of a cruel hoax perpetrated by the mother of one of her former friends.

The mother — 48 year-old Lori Drew — created a MySpace profile under the assumed identity of “Josh Evans,” a 16 year-old boy. Megan quickly became friends with “Josh” and for six weeks, she had the perfect e-boyfriend.

Then things went South. Josh began sending Megan cruel messages. He forwarded Megan’s private messages to people in her class at school. His last message to Megan told her that “the world would be a better place without you.”

Some of Megan’s so-called friends even got in on the hoax. People posted bulletins — electronic fliers that go out to all of your friends — with titles like “Megan Meier is fat” and “Megan Meier is a slut.”

This was too much for Megan, who struggled with her body image and already suffered from depression, suicidal ideation and low self esteem. She hanged herself in her closet.

Aside from being one of the worst cases of cyberbullying I’ve ever heard of, this also represents a colossal breakdown in the responsibility of adult women to safeguard and cherish the nascent self-image of young girls.
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Women Bring More than Beauty to Technology’s Table

I just got back from The BlogWorld Expo in Las Vegas, which was quite good despite some mix ups with the speaker roster.

Thankfully, one of my favorite vloggers — Justine Ezarik — was on hand to fill in for some of the folks who were unable to make it.

Silicon Valley gossip rag Valleywag had this to say about Justine’s last minute podium appearance:

For attendees who were disappointed by the switch, we offer one consolation: The comely video blogger is far, far easier on the eyes than Arrington or Malik.

I’ll admit that I wasn’t actually there for Justine’s session, but I’ve been a fan of hers for long enough to know that her considerable beauty is the least of the wonderful qualities she brings to the table. Why is it that when a woman is as stunning as Justine, we seem to forget all about the fact that she’s articulate and interesting? Why is it that Valleywag has to focus exclusively on her physical appearance?

Yeah, she’s not as prominent and powerful as Michael Arrington or Om Malik…yet. But she’s clever, hardworking and a brilliant self-promoter. Give her a few years.
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Why I’m a Feminist

I went antiquing with my friend Mónica today. I came across a Varga girl pinup from November 1948. The image depicts a leggy brunette in a two-piece bedroom set and matching kitten heels. The caption reads, “I’ve got a brand new platform, that’s sure to elect me one day; I’m strong for the Two-Party system — one on Saturday, one on Sunday.”

You might ask why I’d want to hang such a thing on my wall. After all, who would want to memorialize the days when those in charge believed that the furthest extent of women’s political understanding should be a “charming” bewilderment and an overriding concern with pretty social occasions?

This isn’t the beginning of my obsession with 1950’s iconography. Anyone who has been in my house can plainly observe the voluminous collection of 50’s douche ads that adorn my bathroom walls.
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As if Women in Technology Didn’t Have it Tough Enough

The industry I work in is notoriously difficult for women. In my two years working in social media, I’ve been overlooked, belittled and even sexually harassed by prominent people in my own field simply because I’m young and female. Worse has happened to my female friends in the industry.

Now, a site called Dig a Silicon Valley Girl (no link! you’ll have to read the article on Mashable to find it) allows people to rank and categorize women in Silicon Valley as either “bimbos” or “geeks” and rank us on how hot we are.

I’m ABSOLUTELY FUCKING FED UP with how women are treated in the technology world and in the world in general. As those who know me will attest, I’m pretty difficult to offend. What offends me deeply is seeing women I respect being treated like brainless pieces of meat because they’re female and have chosen to work in the tech industry.

Pole Dancing for Children?

Jessica at Feministing has posted an article about a young Australian girl who is taking pole dancing classes to improve her strength and confidence after an illness.

Jessica contends that the girl in question would probably get the same boost from joining a soccer team. But that really depends on whether she has any aptitude for kicking a ball around. Doing something you like and feel comfortable with is better than playing a sport that seems feminist at the expense of what makes you happy.

I don’t see anything inherently wrong with a seven year old taking pole dancing classes for fitness. The major problem with pole dancing is that it usually happens in strip clubs and is therefore stigmatized with all kinds of messages about sex, feminism and womanhood. But at base, it’s a really fun thing to do.

Imagine doing ballroom dancing, except back leading AND having your lead give you all the physical support you need to do the moves you really want to do. In short, ballroom dancing where the woman is in control. Poles are just fun to dance with and on. I used to do all kinds of dance moves on the sliding pole in grade school, long before I even knew what a stripper was. It’s just fun.

Besides, how do we know that this kid isn’t more of a dance, gymnastics, ice skating kind of athlete than a soccer, softball, basketball kind of athlete? Sometimes people like those sports better, and pole dancing falls into that category. Her mom is the one that knows best on this one, so I disagree with Jessica’s judgment.

I’d Rather be Single for Life than “Date Down”

I’m fortunate to have a man in my life that’s not threatened by the fact that I make good money. But if I were playing the *shudder* dating game, I would rather be single for the rest of my life than downplay my professional success in order to catch some insecure idiot.

But I don’t believe for an instant that the bullshit in the aforelinked-to Times Online article is true. I’ve never met a single man that would complain if his partner made more money than he did. I think this latest spate of fearmongering over high wage-earning women is little more than a reiteration of the “a woman over 40 has more chance of being attached by a terrorist than she does of getting married” scare.

We women need to stop paying attention to this stuff. The goal of articles like this is to make us think that we need to apologize for our success in order to find a good man when the reverse is true. The truly good men flock to smart, successful, intelligent, hardworking women.

To top it off, the Times Online misquotes and distorts the writings of one of my favorite feminist bloggers. Jessica Valenti of Feministing writes:

If I ever refer to men’s “hunter instincts” in a non-sarcastic way, you have my full permission to take away my feminist card.

She then goes on to correct the de-contextualization of her arguments.

Girls Have Voices, and We Should Listen

I saw this on PostSecret this morning. I wonder, when was the last time you really listened to a girl?

Wal-Mart’s Roomate Style Quiz is Kinda Sexist

Has anyone else noticed the gender stereotypes in Wal-Mart’s “Roomate Style Match” Facebook quiz? I really don’t like how guys who are social and ready to entertain are “The Mayor” while women are just “Socialites.” Why can’t we be Mayors, too?

The Personal Presentation Dilemma: Sexuality, Gender and Professionalism in the Social Media Sphere

I got into it with my good friend Robert Scoble a couple of months ago over Facebook and the personal/professional boundary:

• The opening shot
• Robert’s response
• My response to Robert

I’ve had some time to mull the issues over, and I think there’s a component that Robert and I did not discuss: gender.
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A Woman’s Place

A hilarious video about sexism. Thanks to Mark Melief for the heads up.

Superior Court Judge Douglas McBroom is a Chauvanist Prick

The money quote from a 2005 rape case in which two prostitutes were raped at gunpoint:

McBroom said the sex acts were against the victims’ will only because they didn’t get paid, and prostitutes were “a far cry from the innocent rape victim” that lawmakers envisioned when deciding the severe penalties for the crime.

Judge McBroom used that deeply flawed and anti-woman logic to impose a lighter sentence on convicted rapist Jeffrey McKee.

Thank goodness that someone saw reason and overturned the defendant’s lighter sentence to clear the way for him to receive the maximum time behind bars.

Prostitutes are people, same as anyone else. Just because they accept money for sex doesn’t mean that they deserve to be raped any more than anyone else.

Blaming Women

Some of you expressed interest in reading my junior English paper on the character of Eve in Milton’s Paradise Lost.

In the interest of discouraging plagarism of the paper, I’ve exported and uploaded it as a PDF. I’ve also reverted it to rough draft form in a few key places. Anyone who steals this paper will likely miss at least one or two mistakes, thus lowering their grade. Be forewarned.

Here it is.

Miss America’s Father Must Give Permission for Jailbait Sting Operation

The incomparably lovely Miss America 2007, Lauren Nelson recently participated in a statutory rape sting for an episode of America’s Most Wanted. Police used photos of Nelson as a young teenager to lure four separate men to a secluded cabin for sex.

Nelson chatted with the men online and pretended to be a teenage girl.

But what really struck me as odd was this paragraph from the AP report:

Art McMaster, president and CEO of the Miss America Organization, said he initially was hesitant about Nelson participating in the sting, but agreed after speaking with Nelson’s father and the producers of “America’s Most Wanted.” Emphasis mine.

Let me get this straight. At twenty years of age, the Miss America Organization still thinks that Ms. Nelson is not fully capable of making her own decision to risk her safety and physical well-being. So the president and CEO of the company had to consult with her father first?

I wonder if Ms. Nelson’s father needed to be present when she signed the Miss America contract. Did he also need to offer a sworn statement that his little girl grown daughter had never been pregnant or engaged in any kind of “moral turpitude.”

Yes, the Miss America organization is one of the biggest providers of scholarships to young women in the world. The women who participate are not dunces. In most cases, they’re reasonably intelligent, talented, hardworking and decent. They also happen to be incredibly beautiful. And celebrating great beauty is not a crime.

What bothers me here is the complete lack of respect for Ms. Nelson’s autonomous judgment. If she says she wants to participate in a televised sting operation to raise awareness about sexual predators online, I think that’s enough for the Miss America Organization to stand aside and let her do her work. They don’t need to call daddy just to make sure it’s OK.

On the Allegations of a Relationship Between Emily Hilscher and Seung Cho

There has been a lot of speculation in the media this past week about a possible relationship between Seung Cho and his first victim, Emily Hilscher. Emily’s friends have made it quite clear that this is a load of bunk. Emily was in a long-term relationship with a young man named Karl Thornhill. As it turns out, Thornhill had dropped Emily off at the Tech campus on the Monday morning she was murdered. They had spent the weekend together.

On the Canoe news network earlier this week, writer Thane Burnett wrote a long, apologetic piece expressing regret for his part in perpetuating rumors of a romantic link between Emily and the man who killed her.

“But what seems beyond question, is that Emily Hilscher didn’t deserve to appear in the same sentence as vile Cho Seung-Hui, let alone maligned by the allegation he held a place in her heart,” he wrote.

Obviously, there are two issues here. The first is that the media perpetuated unsubstantiated information about a murdered young woman as her family, friends and boyfriend were trying to properly grieve for her. This was inexcusable and apologies are required all around.

But the second issue is far more troublesome. It’s the implied idea that any romantic link between Emily Hilscher and Seung Cho somehow made the massacre her fault. This misogynistic finger pointing was stated almost outright in one particularly egregious article that ran two days after the massacre in the Australian paper The Daily Telegraph.

The article features a smiling photo of Emily that was likely lifted from a Facebook group created in her memory. Next to it appear the words, “THIS is the face of the girl who may have sparked the worst school shooting in US history.”

As if somehow by just being a beautiful, beaming person, Emily Hilscher was responsible for the gunman’s sick, bottomless rage.

We all need to get our heads on straight here. Emily Hilscher was not involved with Seung Cho, except perhaps in the killer’s own twisted imagination. But even if she had been, the massacre that followed her murder would not have been her fault. Good, decent, intelligent, honest women get involved with horrible men all the time. Sometimes, they are murdered by those men. Just look at the recent, tragic case of Rebecca Griego, who was gunned down in cold blood by her ex-boyfriend Jonathan Rowan earlier this month.

If Rowan had elected to shoot up a few classrooms before committing suicide, would we have blamed Rebecca Griego? I certainly hope not.

So let us once and for all put these assumptions behind us. It appears that Emily Hilscher was lucky enough to have found love in her young life with a man named Karl, whom she described on her MySpace profile as “a wonderful guy.” But even if some link between Emily and Seung Cho does surface, it does nothing to diminish the memory of this beautiful young woman whose bright smile, sparkling blue-green eyes and love of animals touched so many in life, and so many after her tragic, untimely death.

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