Civil Unions for All! A Compromise on Gay Marriage?

I have a lot in common with a dear auntie of mine. We share a love of animals, music, good food and the warm sun of Mexico. I even look like her. People have been known to mistake photos of her in her twenties for photos of me.

But one thing we disagree about is gay marriage. I won’t presume to articulate her positions here, but they are based in her Christian faith. My aunt supports civil unions for gays and lesbians, but not marriage.

I respect my aunt’s right to her opinion, and I know that a lot of others share it. They see marriage — which is a fundamental component of our society — as under attack from those who would radically change its definition.

The truth is that we’ve already changed marriage a great deal in the past couple of centuries. It used to be that a father owned his daughter until she was married, at which point she would belong to her husband. Widows had some measure of power, but were often controlled by their sons or other male relatives. Women could not own property or vote.

Nowadays, marriage is viewed by the state as the merging and protection of assets between equal partners in a joint venture. It grants special rights to married couples, including the right to pension benefits, shared health care, and tax benefits.

Some compassionate social conservatives have put forth the idea that gays and lesbians could be given civil unions, a separate but equal institution under the law. Their only qualm is with calling a legal relationship between two men or two women, “marriage.”

The problem with this is that nothing guarantees that separate but equal institutions remain equal. If public opinion were ever to radically shift against gays and lesbians, the civil unions they enjoy could be dissolved, re-tooled, or even turned against them. This is unacceptable to LBGT activists just as using the term “marriage” to describe Adam and Steve — rather than Adam and Eve — is unacceptable to Christian conservatives.

So, since we all share this country, how about some common ground? What if the state got out of the marriage business altogether and gave civil unions to everyone instead? Then churches and religious groups could determine for themselves what kinds of relationships constitute marriages. They could agree to marry only heterosexual couples, or let gays and lesbians be married as well.

In other words, a civil union is a merging and protection of assets between equals. A marriage happens in the eyes of God. Nobody would force any church to marry any couple whose relationship did not meet with the dictates of their beliefs, and everyone would have equal rights under the law.

What do you guys think?

[Many thanks to my good friend Emmett for helping me think this issue through.]

The Real Heterosexual Republican - By George W. Bush

Your attention please. Ladies and gentlement, your attention please.
Will the real heterosexual Republican please stand up?
Umm, we’re gonna have a problem here.

Y’all act like you’ve never seen a homophobe before.
Jaws all on the floor like Elton John and Tom Cruise just walked in the door.
I started persecuting years before the Culture War,
Now the liberal media is trying to even the score.

Karl Rove is down with this, Karl Rove is down with that,
And if I’m lucky Jeff Gannon won’t talk smack.
And that’s the reason that Rove isn’t coming back,
If Gannon outs him I’ll surely get jacked.

Larry Craig is meeting men in the bathroom,
Mark Foley is hitting on interns in a chatroom,
Ted Haggard’s doing meth with his escort in a backroom,
While Richard Curtis wants to do it in costume.

Of course all my cronies are having affairs with men,
And these stories keep coming out again and again,
It turns out Trent Lott also has a special friend,
All this hypocracy is making marriage really hard to defend.

And there’s a million of us just like me, who trangress like me, repress like me,
Lie, cheat, cross-dress like me,
Hate, resent, detest like me,
And just might be the next best thing, but not quite me.

Because I’m George W, I think gays are vile,
And all the other homophobes are just in denial.
So won’t the true marriage defender please stand up,
And make sure civil rights are completely shredded up.
And be proud to be in the closet and out of control,
And when you’re straight like me, just yell it, loud as you can, let everyone know.

Is Trent Lott Gay? Who Cares? The Believability of the Story Speaks Volumes

Recent rumors of a relationship between prominent GOP Senator Trent Lott — who announced his retirement today — and gay escort Benjamin Nicholas have been roiling the blogosphere all afternoon. The Stranger’s Slog has a a great round up of the discussion.

The back and forth in the blogosphere is starting to sound a skeptical note. Both the escort in question and the blog that broke the story have had credibility issues in the past. But from a gay rights perspective, whether or not Lott actually had a liaison with Nicholas isn’t the most relevant detail of this story. It’s the familiarity of the storyline.

How often have we seen rabidly anti-gay leaders outed for their backroom dealings with gay escorts? It happens in every state and at every level of government. Homophobia is often homosexuality waiting to come out of the deepest, darkest, smelliest regions of the closet.

I hope that anti-gay crusaders will wake up one day and recognize that their leaders are wasting their time and energy on a self-hating wild goose chase. True or not, the Trent Lott story brings us closer to that day.

New Jersey Gay Marriage

The state of New Jersey currently allows “civil unions”, but apparently, some homosexuals (and heterosexuals who aren’t anti-gay) have been pushing for an upgrade to gay marriage. They’ve even launched an ad campaign to gain support. They are pretty good.

The imbed on the last one won’t work, so here’s a link to it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=cunTVjtyZv8

I wonder how the social conservatives are going to feel about these.

The Hypocrite Homophobe Train Arrives in Washington State

Whenever a closeted public figure who supports an anti-gay agenda is outed in a gay sex scandal, an angel gets his wings.

Psychologists have long demonstrated that high levels of homophobia are commonly correlated with same-sex attraction among men.

How many more Larry Craigs and Richard Curtises will we need to have before people see the truth about homophobia in America?

The McClurkin Scandal: Why Barack Obama Just Lost My Vote

I’ve been on the fence these last few months between Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama. Obama has the most articulate stance on faith in politics I’ve ever heard. Hillary Clinton is a seasoned policy wonk with a clear vision for America.

Now, I think I just fell firmly into Hillary’s camp by default. Why? Because of Barack Obama’s involvement with “ex-gay” activist Donnie McClurkin. Previously, I thought that Obama’s campaign had hired McClurkin because of an oversight, but now I learn that Obama actually gave McClurkin a podium from which to slam gays and lesbians.

I can’t support any candidate who gives those attitudes a podium.

Ann Coulter Out to Dinner with a Bunch of Gay Guys in West Hollywood!

I knew she was big fat hypocrite.

I can’t help but wonder if our favorite gay-hater is actually a closeted lesbian herself…

Right to Personal Truth Trumps Political Correctness, but Not on the Campaign Trail

The Chicago Sun-Times’ Deborah Douglas weighed in on the uproar in the gay community over the Obama campaign’s hiring of Donnie McClurkin — a self identified ex-gay gospel singer — to entertain fundraiser guests.

She argues that McClurkin, “doesn’t have to stay gay if he doesn’t want to.” She goes on to describe how McClurkin’s childhood of sexual abuse led him to be, “confused about the role of sex and sexual identity.”

I agree with Douglas that if McClurkin wants to be ex-gay, that’s his right. He can live his life, explain his choices and develop his personal truth about God, sex and the world any way he wants. But his choices do have political ramifications when he makes those choices public. The ex-gay movement might work for McClurkin — I’ll believe it if he’s not caught having sex in an Iowa men’s room any time in the next 20 years — but it doesn’t work for a lot of people.

In fact, it more than doesn’t work. It leads a lot of gays and lesbians who would otherwise be openly living their lives and accepting themselves into lives of self-hating misery.

When a presidential campaign hires a vocal advocate for such a movement for his campaign, he gives a tacit endorsement of that advocate’s position. As nuanced and relatively tolerant as that position may be in this case — McClurkin doesn’t condemn gays quite as vehemently as some — it is still an endorsement of a position that causes many people immeasurable pain.

The gay community was quite reasonable to sit up and howl at Obama’s association with McClurkin.

Bashings on the Rise: Let’s Show Support for Seattle’s Gay Community

A recent wave of anti-gay behavior on Capitol Hill has the local community really worried. Broadway used to be a neighborhood where LBGT people could be themselves without fear of persecution, but that’s changed in the past few weeks.

I was out at a gay club with friends last Saturday night and saw signs up in all the restrooms warning people to watch their drinks, as toxic substances were being slipped into drinks at Capitol Hill bars.

The whole thing is really scary and disgusting and it’s important that the greater Seattle population stands up for our gay and lesbian friends.

I’d like to organize a counter-bashing. That is, let’s get a crowd of people up to Capitol Hill a week from tomorrow night with signs. We’ll stand on streetcorners, express support for the gay community and tell bashers to leave our friends alone!

Leave me a comment if you’re interested in attending and spread the word on your blogs. I’ve also created a Facebook event here, so feel free to join!

Senator Craig Refuses To Resign

For those of you who don’t know, Senator Craig was arrested a few months ago for trying to have gay sex with an undercover cop in a Minnesota public bathroom. Craig has been one of the most virulently anti-gay Senators over the past two decades, and was highly critical of Bill Clinton’s affair with Monica Lewinksy.

Craig first came out and said he was straight, but that he would resign. Then he changed his mind and said he would fight the charges, and if he won, he would not resign. He fought the charges and lost, but has decided he won’t resign anyway.

Personally, I am conflicted by his decision. One the hand, I don’t feel that trying to have sex in a public bathroom is that big a deal. I mean, it’s kind of rude, and I would prefer not to have to hear orgasms emitted from the stall next to mine. But it’s not enough to require someone to resign from their job.

However, Craig still won’t admit the truth. Here’s what happened:

Craig saw the officer, and signalled him over to the bathroom next to his. He then tapped his left foot three times. The officer tapped his right foot three times. Craig reached his hand underneath the stall the officer’s stall and touched his leg. The officer reached his hand under Craig’s stall and showed him his badge. Craig yelled “NO!”, ran out of the bathroom, than thought better of trying to outrun a cop in an airport.

Here’s what Craig says happened:

Craig walked into the bathroom, and spread his legs wide because he’s a big guy. Then the officer flashed him his badge.

So on the other hand, I feel like he should resign, because I don’t want a liar in the Senate (at least not one who is so very, very, very bad at it).

Addtionally, I feel that the police department should not be entrapping gay men like this. It’s just homophobic. I don’t buy that this is necessary to stop gay sex from going on in this particular bathroom. If you just have a uniformed officer patrolling it, that should cut down on gay bathroom sex just as much. But maybe I’m wrong. What do you think?

Keep Transgendered Americans Washingtonians Protected at Work

The Democratic leadership in the Washington State legislature Congress has proposed changing the Employment Non-Discrimination Act (ENDA) to remove gender identity from the list of protected statuses. This is supposedly in the spirit of “compromise” to get the legislation passed.

There are 31 states where it’s still legal to fire someone because they are gay, and 39 states where it is still legal to fire them if they are transgendered. Please don’t let Washington be one of those states We can end that practice today with one Federal act, please contact your representatives today.

Update: Silly me. I misread the article and concluded that this was a Washington State issue. Then I realized that this was going on at the Federal level and the stakes got much higher. No matter where it’s taking place, action to protect people from discrimination is key, so be sure to contact your representatives.

More Evidence that Gays and Lesbians are No Different From Straight People

MTV’s Engaged and Underage covers the family drama when barely legal teens set out to tie the knot. This episode about two nineteen year old lesbians has exactly the same angst and drama as any other episode of the show.

On Gay Republicans

Jon Stewart seriously f**ing cracks me up:

Study: Some Gays and Lesbians Can Change Orientation, but it’s Rare

The study most frequently cited by organizations that purport to be able to change a person’s sexual orientation from homosexual to heterosexual was published by Dr. Robert Spitzer. Unfortunately, right wing groups with an anti-gay agenda have radically warped the findings of the study.

Here is Dr. Spitzer, explaining his findings:

I would imagine that it would be possible for some people to change their sexual orientation. But I can also imagine that for the vast majority of us, it’s not a choice. Ex-gay programs — like the ones that Focus on the Family advocates based on its misinterpretation of Dr. Spitzer’s study — are extremely harmful to the latter group.

Of Partners and Prom Kings: The Inexorable March Toward Queer Equality and Gender Neutrality

Despite the current president and the culture of homophobia that put him in office, rights for gay people have advanced steadily in Washington and across the nation in the past few years.

Yesterday, Governor Christine Gregoire signed a domestic partnership bill into law. The new law allows same sex partners who are over the age of 18 and live together to register with the state as domestic partners. This allows them to make decisions for one another just like a married couple in the event of a medical emergency or death.

According to the Seattle P-I this was the scene at the signing in Olympia:

People in the crowd cried as Gregoire relayed stories of couples who testified before lawmakers this year about how they have been denied hospital access to dying partners, or were not allowed to plan their funerals.

Meanwhile, in Fresno, CA, a young woman is getting ready to run for prom king. Cinthia Covarrubias — who sometimes goes by the first name Tony — has been acknowledged by her high school as a viable candidate for prom king after her classmates nominated her. Covarrubias considers herself transgendered, although she does not plan to take hormones or have surgery to change her physical sex to match her gender identity.

She is part of the trend in my generation to bend gender without aligning ourselves so strictly to the male/female physical requirements that used to be the defining characteristic of transgendered identity. Her acceptance by her classmates and by the school administration also indicates a culture that is growing towards acceptance of people whose behavior is not always in perfect alignment with their gender the traditional behaviors attributed to their physical sex.

Gender neutrality in marriage and in behavior is important for more than the small subset of the population that considers themselves queer in one way or another. It’s important for everyone, because everyone suffers under the restrictions of gender.

It used to be that if you were an athletic girl, you were supposed to be uncomfortable in a dress. But these days, it’s more cliché than reality. I’m aggressive as hell on the climbing wall, but I wear my shoes just a little long in the toe so that they don’t ruin my pedicure. And when I’m out on the town, I’ll ride the mechanical bull, dance on the bar, shoot tequila, and wear a skirt so short that it could double as a headband. And when I salsa dance, I turn off my brain and let the man I’m dancing with throw me around the floor at will.

I know a lot of women who are like this, we frame switch between traditionally masculine and feminine gender roles with ease and comfort. And the vast majority of us are straight as arrows. Behavior that is traditionally “masculine” is starting to display itself even in girls who like to wear high heels and makeup. And on the other side of the sex divide, we find men who color their hair, wax their chests, pluck their eyebrows and generally groom themselves well. They’re not gay. They’re metrosexual, and they’re unbelievably hot.

Both phenomena are due in part to the efforts made by people like Covarrubias, who have blazed a trail and blurred the gender lines for the benefit of breeders everywhere.

So How Do I Feel About Hillary Clinton’s “Gay is Moral” Statement?

One of my regular readers asked what Andy and I thought about Hillary Clinton’s latest statement in the “is homosexuality moral?” debate.

According to CNN.com:

On Thursday, she put out a statement saying that she’d heard from gay friends who said her answer sounded evasive.

“I should have echoed my colleague Senator John Warner’s statement forcefully stating that homosexuality is not immoral because that is what I believe,” her statement said.

I find this promising for two reasons:

1. She’s willing to stand up for what she believes in, even if it’s controversial.
2. More importantly, she’s willing to admit she was wrong and restate her position on an issue based on input from people she respects.

The end of the CNN.com report was also interesting:

Given [her remarks to the Human Rights Campaign], Clinton’s decision not to directly answer the question put by ABC News was seen by some analysts as a sign her campaign is so controlled and scripted that it’s difficult for her to be spontaneous.

“Senator Clinton’s style is one of caution,” said Stu Rothenberg of the Rothenberg Political Report.

“She doesn’t like to shoot from the hip. She’s just not that kind of politician. I don’t think she’s comfortable doing that.”

Umm….no shit, Sherlock. But that’s going to be a problem for her. She needs to loosen up a little bit if people are going to learn who she really is. Four years ago, John Kerry’s scripted, dispassionate campaign didn’t work. Eight years ago, Al Gore’s scripted, dispassionate campaign didn’t work. George W. Bush wins elections because he can shoot from the hip and he’s willing to get people riled up.

If Hillary Clinton wants the democratic nomination, she’s going to have to learn how to be more forthright with her personality.

Disgusted with Hillary Clinton on Gay Rights

Someone asked Hillary Clinton whether or not she thinks homosexuality is moral.

Her response:

“Well I’m going to leave that to others to conclude. I’m very proud of the gays and lesbians I know who perform work that is essential to our country, who want to serve their country and I want to make sure they can.”

As Andrew Sullivan wrote, “The woman who addressed the Human Rights Campaign and will receive as much money as they can funnel to her, won’t say whether she believes homosexuality is moral or not. One word: pathetic. But how predictable.”

She’s too politically cautious and afraid to say anything controversial enough to piss anyone off. Does this remind anyone else of John Kerry? Remember when he was too lame to get anyone passionate enough to win the election?

Yet another reason that I can’t stand Hillary Clinton.

Update: On this one, Barack Obama is no better. Sigh!

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