It’s Time for Some Campaignin’

I know Andy says that Barack Obama is nearly impossible to make fun of — unless you’re Dave Chappelle, that is — but JibJab has sure done a great job:

JibJab - Time for Some Campaignin'

Andy points out however, that the funniest part of the video “by far” is when Hillary hits Bill with the frying pan.

Nation’s Comedians Terrified Of Barack Obama Presidency

“A thousand points of light.” “Read my lips.” “I did NOT have sexual relations with that woman.” “Lockbox.” “Presidenting is hard-work.”

The last few Presidents and Presidential candidates have provided tremendous amounts of fodder for the nation’s comedians, from Dan Akyroyd’s Nixon to Will Ferrell’s ‘Dubya’. The Clinton impeachment paid for an extra house for Jay Leno, while Stephen Colbert’s Colbert Report took off under George W. Bush’s comic misspeaking (”Thank you, your Holiness. Awesome speech.”).

But alas, there is fear of comedic recession, if not depression, in Hollywood, for it seems the nation’s comics cannot find anything to make fun of about Barack Obama.

Obama isn’t “a comical figure,” said Mike Barry, who started writing political jokes for Johnny Carson’s monologues in the 1960s. The editors of the New Yorker tried this week to poke fun at Obama, but the joke fell painfully flat.

What is there to make fun of exactly, about Barack Obama. There’s none of Clinton’s womanizing, Nixon’s foul play, Gore’s monotonous droning, or Bush’s dyslexia. He has no catch-phrases like “The Gipper”, “lock-box”, or “A thousand points of light.”

There is a course, plenty of potential material in the first African-American Presidential candidate who happens to have a white Kansas mother (and somewhat racist white grandmother) and a black Kenyan father, grew up on food stamps and then went to Harvard. The only problem is, there’s only one comedian capable and willing to make hilarious jokes that heavily based on race.

That would be the man who put on skits involving a black KKK member, a black time-traveler who shoots white slave-owners, a game show called “I Know Black People”, and a guest spot called “Ask A Black Dude.” Unfortunately Dave Chappelle is temporarily retired, or crazy, or both. So it looks like, unless Mr. Chappelle decides to make a fourth season of The Chappelle Show (”I’m Rick James, bitch!”), it could be a long, laughless eight years.

Kid Rock Says “Steal Everything”

Mike’s Hard Lemonade

I think that this is probably the funniest ad campaign I have seen in a very long time. I keep referencing this guy in jokes and no one knows what I’m talking about, which makes me sound like an idiot. Check it out so I don’t sound quite as dumb.

What If Hillary Clinton Coached The Detroit Pistons?

Great piece of satire:

A statement from Detroit Pistons general manager Joe Dumars:

I wanted to say a few words about the Michigan Solution. No, not that travesty of justice. I’m talking about a fair, common-sense resolution of the Eastern Conference Finals.

Some in the media are declaring the series over because the Boston Celtics have won four of the six games played so far. But I don’t understand why, with a series this close and hotly contested, anyone would want to shut it down before we play a seventh game and have all the results in. As anybody who follows the NBA knows, a seven-game series would be good for the league, and the added competition would make the eventual victor, whomever it might be, a stronger opponent against the Los Angeles Lakers in the Finals.

Obama V. Clinton SMACKDOWN

Rather than have Pennsylvania decide who the Democratic nominee is, why don’t we just let these two candidates fight it out in the wrestling ring.

Obama Brushes Off ABC Debate

Classy and funny.

If you don’t get it, here’s the reference, and here’s the remix.

If The Lincoln Douglas Debates Were Held Today

Obsidian wings had a great satire of Wednesday’s appalling Democratic debate.

The Next Eminem Has Arrived

Nerd Fantasy

I’m not normally a Mariah Carey fan. But her new music video is HILARIOUS!

Geek Test

If you laugh for about 5 minutes when you read this comic (as I did) you are a geek. If you are confused, or just think the comic is stupid, you are not a geek. The harder you laugh, the more of a geek you are.

I Can Haz Seereez of Toobs?

I spend way too much time talking in lolcat speak (a.k.a. “kitty pidgin”) with my friend and colleague Jason Preston. We were goofing around yesterday when this idea popped into my head. I’m sure it’s unoriginal, but it’s funny nonetheless.

The Most Ridiculous Conversation Ever

Over instant messenger this afternoon…

Andy: i was planning on openning up all my computer parts boxes tonight

Andy: any interest in coming over and joining me?

Teresa: sounds great

Andy: NERD!!!!

Teresa: wait

Teresa: you just invited me to come over and help you open computer parts boxes

Teresa: then you call ME a nerd?

Andy: that’s just how i roll

Andy: hypocrtically

Andy: and with spelling errors

I just felt that really needed to be documented…

Iowa Primaries Are Whack

Iowa Primaries Are Whack

by Sir-Votes-A-Lot

“Oh my God, Becky, look at him kiss butt.
And his ego is SO big.”
“Must be one of those Presidential candidates.
You know, they only vote for him because he acts like a TOTAL prostitute.”

“I like social conservatives and I cannot lie,
You other caucuses can’t deny.
When a liberal comes in your state,
Knowing abortion and gays are what you hate,
You get PANDERED to.
He’s gonna suck up quick.
Promote corn-subsidies, pretend terrorists might attack,
Even Iowans got to shout, this system is WHACK.

Yeah baby, when it comes to representing America,
Iowa’s not even close to an accurate cross-section.
Ninety-two percent white, overwhelmingly Protestant farmers who don’t support evolution?
HAHA.
Only if it’s 1953.

Some front-runners wanna play that hard role,
And pretend that Iowa ain’t gold,
So they toss it, and leave it,
And Huckabee pulls up quick to retrieve it.

So Americans when you look around,
And you see every politician acting like a clown,
Just turn on FOX News really loud,
And kick them rational thoughts.
Iowa primaries are whack.

Do you really want a candidate chosen by a 14% voter turnout
in a small, homogenous, socially conservative mid-western state?
Iowa primaries are whack.”

I No Care What U Sez…

i NOT help santa!

And lest you think that this preoccupation with lolcats is below my intellect, be aware that people are indeed translating the Bible into this fascinating kitty pidgin language.

Hilarious Political Comic Strip

Definitely check this out, courtesy of Mark Melief.

Military Tries To Develop “Gay Bomb”

This is no joke. The military has been conducting research to develop a new, non-lethal, non-harmful, highly disruptive form of chemical weaponry.

The so-called “gay bomb”, if successful, would make enemy combatants sexually irresistable to each other, and would be unable to fight due to rampant gay sex.

Personally, I think this is an awesome weapon. After all, would you rather be blown up, or just blown?

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